Epiphani
“And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
I Peter 4:8 NKJV
Y’all, sometimes we have to cover our sisters , even in their mess!
Kinda similar to what we talked about in this video, when you cross paths with someone, they may not yet know Jesus, or they may know Him, but may not have yet matured in character and love… but that doesn’t mean that they won’t anytime soon & even if they never do (God-forbid), we must be intentional and led by the Holy Spirit in how we deal with others. In this case, we’re specifically focusing on how to respond when others hurt, betray, or offend us. There is something gracious and compassionate about 'covering' others (ie. not exposing them) in their flaws & sins, even the super “ugly,” hurtful ones. I’m sure there are people that don’t want to hear this, but this also applies to those who have blatantly set themselves up as our ‘enemies!’
(Clearly God has us on a character-development wave lately, lol!)
Covering our sisters may look like…
Genuinely praying for someone’s growth, enlightenment, or even healing (because we know that hurt people really do hurt people) vs. hoping they “get what they deserve”
Choosing not to gossip about them or even to share the dirty details of how they’ve treated you…
Not in an unhealthy, “protect the family molester” kind of way 🙅🏾♀️
But rather, sharing only what is necessary for your healing and recovery from the situation without taking the opportunity to trash or bash them
& choosing to only share with a neutral, trustworthy party
When it’s really bad, the most you may be able to do is to choose to say nothing, even when you really have the “right” to say everything!
Here’s what I’ll have you to know though…
Many times, this is an act you do in integrity and love for God.
The other person may never know or acknowledge this act of kindness, and worse, they may continue to do and say ugly things, whether knowingly or in ignorance….
Continue to walk uprightly in love anyway.
Continue to be the bigger person.
There may be times when “covering” someone requires exposing the situation to necessary parties for their safety, for yours, or for both… or because it becomes necessary to follow the protocol outlined in the Bible for escalation to and through the body of Christ.
Check out Matthew 18:15-17 for more details
It probably (definitely 😬) won’t feel good and a part of your flesh will definitely die in the process
Can you say ‘pruning & refining’?
You may need to recover emotionally and/or mentally from the person’s words or actions
This doesn’t make you weak or unspiritual…
Taking the high road of love doesn’t mean that the offense, the slander, the attack, betrayal, etc. doesn’t hurt—we’re still human after all, and women at that!
However, taking the way of character and integrity keeps you in the safety and protection of God’s graces, and choosing not to take matters into our own hands gives way to wrath, allowing vengeance (or restoration) to truly be the Lord’s, whatever He may choose to do.
But don't stew in it or let it consume you (more guidance on that below).
When faced with a situation, such as slander, an offense, an attack, a betrayal, etc…
Seek the Lord for how you should respond, if at all, and do what He says.
As you await His instructions, choose to cover your sister — resist the urge to gossip, slander, or “cancel.”
If this is someone meant to be in your life going forward (and even sometimes if not), be willing to have a conversation to bring reconciliation and help you move forward.
Even in this conversation, covering them may look like addressing the hurt and relevant actions, but not necessarily going down the line of all of their flaws or everything they’ve ever done.
Address and seek healing from the wounds that may have been inflicted by their words or actions.
Intentionally forgive (even if you never get an apology).
Journal about it if needed.
Intentionally let go and move forward to a new beginning, whether it be with or without the other person.
Continue to move in honor and integrity with the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Be led by the Spirit & not by the flesh
Let’s be real though…
The truth is, not everyone is actually our ‘sister’ (especially not in every season) — some people don’t truly have our best interest at heart and don’t share God’s intentions (yet). Nevertheless, as Kingdom Ambassadors, we must still operate in the ways outlined above, while also operating in wisdom in both the spiritual and natural realms.
“Pray for the person; bind the spirit(s) operating through them!”
Remember that in all things, the goal is to please and be approved by God, not man.
Let this truth direct your words and actions.
May you be found faithful 🙏🏾💞
Love you bunches!
P.S. This isn't just something I'm picking on y'all about, lol.
It's something I've actually had to learn in real time, so I'm right there with you!
We're becoming more Christ-like together 🤗
Hey Garden Fam,
We touched on this a bit in this video, but with today's faith topic, I wanted to also share these specific details for those who are newly saved and/or those who need a reminder of this reality and how to overcome the voice of 'the accuser'. I pray it blesses you and strengthens your walk with Jesus and your resolve in knowing you have been made new in Him!
Love you bunches 💞
Just so you are not caught off guard...
Accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior is the most wonderful decision you can make in life! In doing so, I do want to warn you that unfortunately, not everyone will be happy that you’ve chosen to follow Jesus.
Once you accept Jesus Christ and begin to yield to the Holy Spirit, Satan will inevitably arise with accusations based on who you were or what you’ve done in the past. He will either do this through a person or just in the Spirit. He may even try to misconstrue your current actions now that you are living for the Lord.All of this happened to Jesus and now, with Him living within us, we can expect the same. When this happens, you must know with assurance that you’ve been forgiven, and that by accepting Jesus Christ, you have been made new. The old you is dead!
Psalm 103:12 says that “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” It is the devil who is the accuser of the brethren. Only the devil is upset to see people repent. Only the devil is pressed to hang on to the old man that dies when someone accepts Jesus Christ as Lord. Only the devil wants to continue to recount someone’s sins and dispositions from before they accepted Jesus or before He developed the fruits of His Spirit within them…Woe to the one who is determined to constantly being up what God has thrown far away... But that is the nature of the devil and his demons. 🤷🏾♀️
When the voice of the accuser rises up, either within you or around you, recognize that it is not the voice of God! God would not seek to condemn us for sins we have confessed and He has forgiven. God corrects us and redirects us. He convicts us when we are wrong, but once we have confessed and turned away, He is no longer interested in remembering the old. He focuses on guiding us into the new. When condemnation or accusations are thrown at you, intentionally choose to hide under the shadows of the sacrifice Jesus made for you. You don’t need to justify yourself or try to outdo the old works with “good works.” You simply need to rest in knowing that your sins have been forgiven. You simply need to know that you are in right standing with God because you’ve accepted Jesus Christ. You simply need to continue following the leading of the Holy Spirit. You can also speak Isaiah 54:17 and condemn the voices of accusations against you… you are a child of God now and that is your heritage! Don't allow the enemy to steal or mute the joy of your new life or growth in Christ. Silence him with the Word & continue rejoicing!
Pray for Your Enemies & Rejoice When Others Repent
Jesus desires that none perish, but that all come to repentance — as such, that is what we should want as well. We should all rejoice when we see others repenting and turning back to God. Posture your heart to celebrate when people repent and come to Jesus, even those who once positioned themselves as your enemy. Pray for your enemies & rejoice if you see them repent and escape the wrath & judgment of God. You’ve escaped the eternal judgment of God because of grace by your faith in Jesus Christ. It was literally a free gift to you. Why wouldn’t you want that for someone else?
God says:
"You are not 'her' anymore"
"You have grown & I have pruned you.
It is time to stop identifying with your past self.
You are not her anymore.
Gone are the days when you weigh your character by what you did or who you were back then.
I have made you NEW! It is time to begin to embrace this new identity FULLY.
You’re not “there” anymore. You are HERE & who you are is who I’ve molded you to be!
You will continue to grow from glory to glory, but from now on, no more looking back and judging who you are now based on your track record when you didn’t know to do better, when you didn’t recognize who you were.
You are who I’ve called you to be and you will continue to grow into her.
Embrace that today."
A couple months ago, God spoke these words to me about me.
He was trying to show me some things about my future and who I truly am in Him, but I wasn’t yet able to fully receive it, because I had yet to fully perceive who exactly He was talking to. God was speaking to who I am and who will be, but a part of me was trying to understand and identify with His plans, promises, and instructions from a place of who I used to be.
I believe the word God gave me also applies to many of you who have been in a season(s) of growth. When you've been on a journey of healing, growth, or transition, especially over a significant period of time, it can be hard to recognize that you've actually healed, reached a new level of growth, or transitioned. There's no such thing as "arriving" in general, because we should always be learning & growing, but there is such a thing as arriving at a new season... a new you.
Recognizing where and who you are now is so key, because if God speaks to us based on who we are yet to be, we can’t try to apply what God is saying to us based on old renditions of ourselves or seasons that have long passed. We also need to understand who and where we are now in order to navigate as such and to steward well over the current season. Having an outdated perspective of ourselves or our season can not only cause us to miss out on what God is doing, but also may cause us to make decisions based on factors of our former identity or reality that no longer exist. Stepping into a new you or a new season will often come with many changes (and even challenges), but the first key is to recognize that a change has occurred.
For today, I’ll focus on two of those changes / challenges — imposter syndrome and growing apart in friendships.
Imposter Syndrome.
Imposter syndrome occurs when a person constantly doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments, and more specifically, when they fear being found out to be a fraud, or imposter. On one hand, this is certainly a tactic of the enemy to keep us from stepping into the fullness of who we are and what we’ve been called to, or to keep us miserable while doing so. I talk more about this in our previous Overcoming Series, so check that out if that’s something you’ve been struggling with. On the other hand, though, imposter syndrome is a natural bi-product of not actually understanding who we are, in general or in a current season. Going back to what I mentioned earlier, if you have stepped into a new version of you, but are still wearing last season’s identity, you will naturally feel inadequate, because the former you was the one being prepared for what you are in now, but not yet the one who was equipped to walk in it.
For example, let’s say you’re a college student who just graduated and now you have a full-time job in your field. If you try to navigate from a place of still being a college student, you will certainly feel like you don’t belong, you aren’t qualified, you slipped through the cracks and got hired by accident, etc. However, upon realizing that you’ve studied to actually become an expert in your field and graduated from that stage of life, you can begin to walk with a bit more confidence. It does not mean that you may not still feel that there is much to be learned and a lot to adjust and grow into, because after all, you went from being the “big fish in a small pond” (ie. a senior & ‘master’ at doing the college thing) to kinda ‘starting over’ as a “small fish in the ocean” of the workforce. However, it does not make you an imposter. You’re coming equipped with everything you’ve learned and every part of you that you’ve developed so far. See that, embrace it, and stand on it! You have ‘leveled up’ and now need to grow into this next level. That takes time, but it doesn’t mean you aren’t qualified. Know that when you enter a new season or realize a new you, it’s new, so it will require some growing into, but don’t let that send you into an identity crisis. You’re not an imposter, you’re the real deal, so grow into this new level with confidence!
In the same way that the new you and your new season require growing into some things, it also usually includes a natural falling away of some things, like friendships, relationships, hobbies, etc. It happens. If the old you chose those things, people, activities, etc. or you chose them in/based on previous seasons, they may or may not align with the new you or your new season, and that’s okay. This isn’t a “the price has gone up” type conversation (lol @ those posts), but rather a conversation about alignment. While I don’t believe in cutting everybody off every five seconds, I do know that there is often a natural growing apart that can happen, specifically in friendships and I believe happens for many different reasons.
Growing Apart in Friendships.
One, as you grow, your interests, values, convictions, hobbies, etc. tend to develop and change, especially as you grow in the things of God and commit to submitting to His will for your life. Coming “out of the world” and “into Kingdom” can (and will) produce drastic changes in you and your life, so if your friends aren’t on a similar journey (and sometimes, even if they are), you will likely grow apart. This is not because you’re better or anything like that, because that’s prideful thinking. However, it’s natural to expect that if you built a friendship based on certain things, and those certain things are no longer a part of your life, unless new common ground is developed, there isn’t much left other than love and memories—and as great as those are, they don’t actually constitute grounds for a solid friendship. I think sometimes, we can conflate loyalty for friendship. There should be loyalty within a friendship, but loyalty alone does not constitute grounds for maintaining a friendship. For (a very basic) example, let’s say you built a friendship with someone based on your love for trying new steakhouses—I told y’all this example would be basic, but go along with me here. Lol. Well, you’re now a vegetarian and find that now, you and that friend don’t have much in common anymore. There will naturally be a growing apart that happens if the friendship wasn’t solidified based on other factors that are actually still a part of both of your lives. And sometimes, you may even find that it’s not just one or two things that have changed, but literally, your whole life has changed and you’re a completely different person, and now, y’all just don’t relate at all. That’s okay, too. It happens over time, especially with those who were seasonal companions, and not ordained for lifetime bonds.
That brings me to reason number two: if we were unhealed when we chose these friendships or simply lacked a revelation of who we are and who God has destined us to be, we may not have selected our friends wisely (or even actually “selected” them at all). As you begin to heal and/or come into knowledge of who you really are, you may find that your “picker” was off. 😬 This will also cause a natural growing apart, because you formed these bonds erroneously. This includes, but is not limited to, trauma bonds, one-sided friendships, friendships that you never vetted to begin with, unhealthy or toxic friendships, or even ones where you actually never had anything in common. As you step into the true you, and even more specifically for this example, as you heal and develop in wholeness, you may find that certain friendships can’t stay, because they never truly belonged in the first place.
Last reason I’ll mention is situational friendships. These are friendships that were built on things like proximity—you worked or went to school together, you were on a team together, went to the same church, etc. When the “situation” changes, these will grow apart for obvious reasons if the friendship wasn’t solidified further on a firmer foundation.
I’m sure there are many more reasons why this growing apart in friendships happens, but I’ll leave you with those. I don’t really have the answer for how to navigate the process of growing apart from friends, because to be honest, I’m still navigating that myself, but I do think it will be different in each case. The few things I will suggest are…
Understand that as uncomfortable or sad as it may be, this is a normal part of life and growth.
Know that growing apart does not diminish the value of what once was, nor does it diminish the love and care that is likely still there.
Ask God for guidance on which friendships you should maintain and which you should allow to fizzle out (or even intentionally end).
Nurture and grow with the friendships God says are meant to be in your life, but don’t try to force outdated friendships based on loyalty or longevity. (Refer back to #2)
Take time to grieve the breakdown of friendships you cherish(ed) if needed. Just because the alignment isn’t there anymore doesn’t mean it won’t still hurt to let go.
Ask God for guidance and key qualifiers in choosing new friendships and alliances. Also ask Him to help you grow and develop as a friend, so you’re equipped for these new friendships—it may require doing friendship differently.
When the time is right, intentionally make space in your heart and in your life for new, God-ordained friendships to develop.
Whew, this got a little longer than planned, but I pray this helps whoever needs it.
In conclusion, when you enter a new season, or become a new person, embrace it fully.
This will likely require asking God to open your eyes to how He sees you and what He says about your season, but this is necessary to navigate with confidence and authority, and to steward the season well. Know that it is NEW, so there will likely be some discomfort and stretching, but it is only because you’ve stepped into new territory. You may feel like you are starting over, because in many ways you are, but you are not starting from scratch. Your former ceiling has now become the ground of your next level.
Say it with me:
You have changed. Your season has changed.
Remind yourself as much as you need to until it sticks, “You are not ‘her’ anymore!”
And begin to walk into the ‘her’ you are today with confidence.
Love you bunches 💕