Epiphani
Hey Garden Fam,
I hope you are doing WELL!
I have a quick reminder today for someone who may need it:
Even when God seems silent, He’s still right there, supporting you and ready to help you when you reach out.
I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “during the test, the teacher is silent,” but God has been showing me that most of life is more like “Classwork.” (Yes, let’s take it back to elementary school for a sec 😂) When I was in the classroom, I would teach a lesson, walk the students through examples, and give them chances to try the concepts throughout the lesson. Then, once it seemed they had the hang of it (whatever was being taught), I would assign them some classwork so they could apply and practice what they had just finished learning. I didn’t expect them to be experts in it; they had literally just finished being introduced to new concepts. Instead, I sat back, usually just walking around to check in, or sometimes, sitting at my desk, but I always made it clear to them that I was available to help them if they got stuck. I also let them know that it wasn’t considered “cheating” to use their resources to help them. Also note that classwork was graded a lot more loosely than tests, because tests were given at a point when mastery should have been achieved, but classwork was simply an opportunity to exercise new learning.
Without belaboring the point too long, essentially, life with God is a lot like that. Most seasons and moments are more like “classwork” than tests. God is constantly teaching us things and then giving us opportunities to practice and apply what we’ve learned while the stakes are pretty low. That whole time, He’s right there, waiting for our questions, waiting for us to ask for help when we get stuck or don’t know what to do next, waiting for us to reach out and ask for approval, or whatever we may need. As you do the ‘classwork’ (aka your life’s work), the Teacher may be quiet at times—He’s already given the lesson & instruction—but He’s not absent or unavailable. God may seem silent at times, but He is always right there, willing and able to support, help, empower, and guide us as we may need Him.
Our earthly teachers’ goals were to teach, mold, and grow us to eventually be independent (and rightfully so), but that is not the case with our Heavenly Teacher. In fact, it’s the opposite. To grow with Him means to grow more and more dependent and reliant on Him, His goodness, His strength, etc.
I have to remind myself of this often, because my natural inclination is to try to do all I can and then ask for help. God has been leading me to do the opposite; to ask for help and allow Him to guide and empower me every step of the way. It’s a lot different than what I’m used to, but the joy, peace, and fruit it produces is top tier! When you ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and empowerment at every turn, I can tell you from even the most recent experiences, that He will certainly show up to help you, remind you, guide you, support you, and provide whatever else you may need in the moment!
So, in closing, I want to remind you to make an intentional effort to look to God every step of the way, big or small, minor or major, and know that in most moments, it’s not a test, but rather an opportunity to collaborate with God on your life’s work!
Have a healthy & wholesome week,
Love you bunches 💞
Listen along via podcast 🎧
Happy Wellness Wednesday, Garden Fam 🌸
We are in the final week of our Stress Awareness Month Series. So far, we’ve chatted about ways to avoid and alleviate stress, healthy practices for work-life balance—which, if you heard that episode, you know we are now calling work-life flow—and lastly, how to manage stress in busy seasons (we know that it can look different than more quiet seasons).
Today, we’re wrapping up the series with creating an anti-stress lifestyle. I’ve shared tips and key pointers in the other three April episodes that I believe can also contribute to today’s topic, so be sure to go back and check those out, whether you need the information now or may need it in the future.
In this last episode, I thought it might be nice to just speak candidly and share a few of my experiences and what I learned from them as it pertains to living a stress less life. Overall, though there were seasons where I was more tired than others (naturally), I am thankful to say that very rarely did I find myself feeling “stressed.” I definitely owe the credit to God for empowering me in every season and allowing me to lean on Him. There were also tangible things that I did (or didn’t do) that supported my anti-stress lifestyle.
First, let’s chat mindset.
Before I even get into my experiences, I will say that as cliche as it sounds, mindset truly does matter SO much! When it comes to stress, I intentionally fostered a mindset of “I get to” rather than “I have to,” and I could definitely feel the difference when I was not intentionally approaching life this way. For example, I loved teaching, but in the hard moments, I would remind myself that it was a blessing to teach, engage, and have a hand in cultivating the minds of little ones.
There are times (really most times) when you have to train your mind what and how to think and literally cancel out negative or unproductive thoughts. I also embraced the scripture that says to “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.” That’s Colossians 3:23 and it definitely kept me going in times when I wanted to quit, or complain, or checkout. There were definitely times when I fell short of this as far as excellence goes, but fostering this mindset was definitely helpful, because even when people may have been difficult, it reminded me who I was truly working for, and who was working within me. It surely made all the difference.
Whether you adopt these mindsets or some of your own, your mindset is definitely the first place to begin building an anti-stress lifestyle.
I’ve said this many times before, but you should also filter what you are taking in on a regular basis. We don’t need to know everything that is going on in every city across the world, or what is going on in the lives of every single person we know on a regular basis. We certainly don’t need to be taking in doom and gloom messaging and conversations. It’s important to filter these things out. If it doesn’t align with God’s word as it is written or the things He has spoken to you specifically, filter it out. There’s more I could say on that, but I’ll leave it at that for now. I wrote a blog on this last year, so I will link it in the comments for those that need help in this area, and I’ll likely find myself talking about it again in more detail in the future.
Overall, a healthy mindset is something that is actively cultivated, not passively, so get intentional, “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” That’s Philippians 4:8, by the way. With this, and doing things God’s way, brings the PEACE of God, and stress can’t overpower the peace that God gives!
I can tell you that with confidence because I’ve experienced it for myself!
There have been times that I’ve looked back on and couldn’t fathom how I was not only surviving, but gliding through with grace. That’s not to say it NEVER got difficult, but overall, I’m impressed with all that God allowed me to do. During my time teaching, I was literally teaching full time and all the things that come with that: meetings and lesson planning and grading, and teacher outings, and even at certain points, planning events for staff, and volunteering… Then, on my own time tutoring and doing freelance work, and serving at my church, and somehow still making time for fun and traveling. My mind is lowkey blown just reflecting on it, but it’s a reminder to me and to you that it is possible to not only get a lot done, but to do so with grace and ease and peace. I won’t lie, that grace, ease, and peace may not come and definitely won’t be sustainable without God, but truly, all things are possible with God! Now for the takeaways: When I look back at this season, and the one I will share next, there are a few things that I know aided me in showing up with excellence:
TIME-MANAGEMENT! As someone who helps others manage their calendars, I know firsthand that this does not come naturally to everyone, but man oh man is it important and a major key to creating an anti-stress lifestyle. Whether you use a digital or written calendar, a physical checklist or project management software, you MUST have something that you are accountable to that helps you to plan your days and delegate your time. Disorganization, both physically and with our time, can definitely breed stress! When managing your time, be realistic about how much time you really need for tasks and don’t ever rely on “remembering” scheduled appointments, meetings, etc. Write it down or it’s not real! Lol.
Someone I know puts EVERY minute of their day on their calendar, from eating to showering, to working and working out, you name it! Shout out to you if you’re listening: You know who you are! Lol. I don’t always do it to that extent and I’m not suggesting that you have to either, but if I’m honest, it helps to visually see your time and how it is spent, and also, in busy seasons especially, you can almost create more time in the day by properly allocating time for things. Obviously, we only have 24 hours in a given day, really less when we count sleep, but when you employ the combination of visualizing your time and setting a schedule to adhere to, you’ll be surprised how much you can get done in a day and how much it will eliminate the stress that comes from confusion, disorganization, or not knowing what to do next. In this way, you also find that you have time for rest throughout your day, whether it be short breaks throughout or one long break in the middle.
Long story long on that, manage your time well, and don’t forget to factor in the logistics like travel time, actually cooking, ordering, or picking up the meal you plan to eat, rest, and hygiene. Shameless plug, if you need someone to help you setup or maintain your calendar, I’d be happy to help you through my assistance and organization business, Reorganize with Rhaven! I offer a plethora of services as a virtual executive and personal assistant, and as a digital organizer to help you organize your life, your space, your schedule, and your business. Check out my website reorganizewithrhaven.com and let me help you begin creating your anti-stress lifestyle today! The link will also be in the description.
The next experience I want to share is one that I know many can relate to, whether now, in the past, or in the future, and that is working full-time while going to school full time. If you are there or have been there, you know that combination packs a PUNCH. I completed my masters program while working full-time in my role as an executive assistant, serving in an ancillary role as the leader of our company culture, and continuing to serve my tutoring students. Now, let me say, busy is not always productive and you don’t necessarily have to be busy to be successful, but I want to offer a balanced perspective that you CAN be successful in living an anti-stress life, even when you are wearing 5000 hats. I know there has been a movement towards doing less, and I support that if that is the season you are in and if that is what you feel is best for you right now, but there are DEFINITELY seasons where God and life will require more of you. Don’t back down! You can charge forth, be super productive and impactful, and still be at peace. It doesn’t have to be either-or. I also want to debunk the idea that you just need to struggle through a busy season to get to a quiet, calm life. Realistically speaking, if you have goals and if you have a calling on your life from God (which we all do, but not everyone answers); if you care about being impactful and moving from glory to glory, you need to posture yourself to thrive and live a good life in every season, and not postpone joy, peace, rest, etc. for some season that isn’t coming or that won’t last. What am I saying? Live well NOW, no matter the circumstances. I think that is one thing that I have learned—to stop holding my breath and struggling through intense seasons, and to embrace each season for what it is, even when I know better is coming. How does this apply to working while in school? Well, I’m glad you asked! Often, when in school, we have this idea that we will just push through this 4 years in undergrad, 2-3 years in grad school, or however many years in a doctorate program, or however many months in a certification program so that we can coast later… but after school ends, then comes looking for a new job or promotion or building a business and the cycle starts all over again. So, what’s a better solution? Create a lifestyle of anti-stress now. Care for your mind, body, and spirit now. Manage your time well and create helpful habits now. Make time for your family and friends, and yourself now. Are there certain things that come after delayed gratification? ABSOLUTELY, but exhaling, resting, caring for ourselves, and truly LIVING should not be a part of those things. Build an anti-stress lifestyle while working and going to school full time by doing some of the things we’ve already mentioned, eating well, making time for rest, setting healthy habits, making time for fun and self-care, managing your time and tasks well, just to name a few. How this looks and how much time is allotted for each thing may need to shift in different seasons, but as we discussed in last week’s episode, you still need to make time for your non-negotiables in every season. And just to clarify, I’m not saying you will be comfortable in every season, because not every season is meant to last a long time, but you DON’T have to just accept that stressful living is your portion. It’s not… or at least it doesn’t have to be.
I will wrap up in saying this: many have accepted that stress is a part of life and I am here to tell you that while that is true, that life does come with certain pressures, it does not mean that you have to be stressed or life a stressful life. You can thrive under and really, over the pressures, and significantly alleviate or even avoid the effects of stress, especially chronic stress, by building a life that is not conducive to it. Go back and listen to the rest of the episodes in this series for more ideas on how you can do just that. You can also grab the transcripts on the blog at thegardenofepiphani.com, if you’re someone who needs to see it visually. As we wrap up April, Stress Awareness Month, I want to challenge you to begin setting up for an anti-stress lifestyle. What things do you need to start, stop, or continue doing? What habits do you need to strengthen or eliminate? How can you foster a better mindset going forward? If you haven’t already, I challenge you to leave stressful living behind in April and enter May committed to God’s grace, ease, and peace, and living a Stress Less life!
That’s the end of today’s episode and the end of this series. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and that you feel empowered to go forth. Leave me a comment and let me know one thing you will start implementing this week to build or strengthen your anti-stress lifestyle!
I love you bunches and will talk to you on Faith Friday, God willing!
Until then, have a healthy and wholesome week! 💕
Happy Wellness Wednesday, Garden Fam 🌸
I hope you are doing WELL & having a fabulous week.
As I shared last week, April is Stress Awareness Month, so we are continuing our series this week focusing on Work-Life “Balance.” I put quotation marks around “balance,” because realistically speaking, it’s not necessarily about giving equal weight to both, but rather about healthily integrating your work into the lifestyle of abundance that God has called you to and that you desire to live. With that being said, we’re going to call it work-life flow from here on out, because that’s really what it should be, a flow...
Check out today's Podcast!
Then, see the additional tips and the transcript below for more details!
Wishing you a healthy & wholesome week!
Love you bunches 🍇
P.S. Go grab some new glasses from today’s sponsor here.
More Ways to Maintain a Healthy Work-Life Flow
Take time to optimize your calendar
If you need help with this, check out my Personal Assisting site and consider hiring me to do it with or for you.
Establish different calendars for home and work, and even for the various types of events that may fall under each.
This will allow you to see everything in one place and schedule accordingly (and also look back to track “where the time went”)
Establish a good sleep schedule
Check out this blog for more details on improving your sleep
Plan and shop for your meals each week
If you’re super busy, Instacart is a life and time saver!
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It’s a great way to capture things that come to mind that you are not yet ready to attack.
Because you can create multiple projects, it can also help you to see both personal and professional tasks in one place and plan accordingly
Block out time on your calendar for focused, undistracted work
Turn your phone on ‘Do Not Disturb’ during this time — the more you finish during your actual work day, the less you will feel the need to work past your set time to end the work day.
You will likely find that you get more done this way!
If you are in a management or supervisory role, be sure you are delegating where you should be and not taking on everything —
You have a team for a reason; “Teamwork makes the dream work!”
Podcast Transcript
First, I want to debunk the myth that our work is separate from our lives or that the two are at odds with each other. In times when this seems to be our reality, we must reconsider our mindset, our approach, our work, or some combination of the three. Even if what you are currently doing to financially support your life is not yet what you feel you were called to do, it is still important to see it as a piece of the overall pie of your life. This approach is already a wonderful step in the right direction towards minimizing stress, because it allows you to see yourself as one person who does many things instead of feeling like you need to split or duplicate yourself to do and be these things separately. See your life as one big picture that includes your work and your life, and not as “work life” vs. “life life,” lol.
Next thing to note is that your work does not define you. It is pretty customary when you meet people for them to ask your name and then almost immediately follow up with, “what do you do?” This alone sets the stage for us to be defined by or find identity in the work we do. Even if what you do actually is a large part of who you are because you run a business or operate in a role you feel you were created to do, it is still a part of the overall pie of your life. Resist the temptation to define yourself by the work you do, even when others try to. This will help to prevent stress in the times when work or business is not going as well, because you will be able to see it as something in the business not working, and not as you being a failure. It will also prevent some of the stress that may arise in the event that God asks you to pivot, as He often does. When your work does not define you, you are able to see it as an assignment or purpose to be fulfilled, and can healthily remove yourself when the time comes. That’s not to say that there may not be grief involved, but it won’t cause a whole identity crisis.
That brings us to one of the key ways you can have a healthier approach to work and life: set boundaries for working and create time for rest, having fun, refueling, etc. This can be challenging when we grow attached to the work we do, especially when we are readily able to see the positive impact that our work has on others, on systems, on industries, etc. However, in order to minimize stress and build a healthy work-life flow, we must know when to turn down, turn off, and turn away from work. There will ALWAYS be something that needs to be done… literally always! Especially if you are an educator or entrepreneur—I’m sure there are many other roles that can be listed here, but those are two that I know personally. As such, we can’t let what needs to be done tell us when we will eat, take a break, check out for the day, or take a vacation. There may be a bit of preparation required to step away, but set boundaries for your work and honor them. For some, this may look like setting time boundaries—”I will start working at this time and stop working at that time”. For others, this may be setting a number of tasks they will [realistically] complete in the day and committing to stepping away when those are complete. For everyone, this should include setting aside time for vacations and staycations throughout. Don’t be the PTO hours champion! There’s no reward in that! lol. These options will require some observation and adjustments in the beginning to see what actually works, but once you’ve found it, stick to it and honor it until another major shift is needed.
There are also other ways you can build boundaries into the way you work to create your ideal flow. If you are an entrepreneur or have the freedom at your job, you can plan to do certain tasks on certain days. You can also set boundaries for when and how long you want to make or take calls in a day, or even set specific days of the week for you to make or take calls. This will not only help to balance your actual work, giving you time to actively work outside of calls, but it can also help in aligning your life. If you work from home (or even if you don’t) you can let your household know when you may need a bit more privacy and quiet time for calls, and when you may need to socially recharge a bit more afterwards. Resist the urge to make yourself available for a call at any time at the drop of a dime. Most roles do not require it, no matter how much of an “emergency” others may feel their concerns are. You can also set norms for whether you are available in the moment, or whether you prefer advance notice for calls. [Now, don’t go getting in trouble on my account if your job is a bit more strict, but there are usually ways to gently set boundaries, norms, and expectations in advance without ruffling feathers.]
Btw, if your job requires you to be super social, some built in quiet time each day is almost a must. Really, all of us could benefit from quiet time each day, because we are often pouring out whether it be socially, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually. Build in some quiet time to recharge. Quiet time can look different for each person, but it should be a time when you don’t have to talk and can also be a time when you give your brain a break from heavy thinking. [Not recommending emptying your mind through meditation, but rather relaxing and giving your brain a break from strategizing and contemplating the intricacies of life].
There are SOOO many more tips I could share about working towards a better work-life flow, but the last one I will go into detail about here is to establish a firm morning routine! My morning routine is my baby and I don’t leave home or start work without it! Consider how you want to wake yourself up in the morning and prepare for your day. Do you need water, coffee, tea, or a smoothie? Are we working out? How will you spend time with God in the morning? Is it prayer, reading the Word, or maybe a combination? How will you command your day? Scriptural affirmations, a daily prayer or decree, checking out a devotional or sermon? What hygienic practices are important to/for you? Do you like to eat breakfast? If so, do you want to grab and go or actually make time for a traditional sitdown breakfast? Simply put, how will you fuel your spirit, mind, and body when you wake up, and how will you then prepare for your day? Write out the things you would ideally like to do in the morning and begin implementing them one or two at a time, giving yourself at least a week or two before adding something else. It may require some tweaking and rearranging over time and as your needs change, but consider what you need before you can show up as your best self and then commit to doing that, even on the days when you are not working.
For me, my morning routine is more of a checklist than a rigid routine. There are certain things I do in a specific order like spending time with God first thing and brushing my teeth when I first use the restroom, but the rest is flexible as far as timing based on what I have going on that day. So don’t feel obligated to perform like a robot once you’ve established your routine. And, once you’ve mastered your morning routine, I encourage you to consider what you want your evening wind down routine to look like. I’m still working on this one, but I definitely like to wash my face, pray, and play a game or two on my phone before bed. Consider what you need and establish your own evening routine using the process from creating your morning routine.
Having a healthy work-life flow can really help to maximize joy and fulfillment, and minimize stress and its effects on our minds and bodies. Work is a part of our lives, but it doesn’t have to be and shouldn’t be our whole lives. Begin to view it as a piece of your life’s pie and approach it as such. Remember that your work does not define you, though it may be a part of you. Set boundaries for your workday and how you will approach your work, and make time for rest and vacation. Built in quiet time each day is a must! Work on your morning and evening routines and watch how different your days will begin to feel and flow! I will leave a few more ideas in today’s blog for how you can level up your work-life flow. Send me a message or let me know in the blog comments: what do YOU implement that helps you maintain a healthy work-life flow?