A poem inspired by 'Someone almost walked off wid alla my stuff.' by Ntozake Shange
Someone almost ran off with all of my stuff!
And I was so exhausted that I was just about ready to let them…
After a season of warfare & intense stretching, pruning, and shedding, ya girl was TIRED, okay! I just wanted to be loved, comforted, and supported… not cheered on to keep being strong.
Like, let me just lay here & be weak for a moment!
I was tempted to shrink back and leave a large part of me on the table thinking that’d make it easier for love & evenly yoked friendships to find me. But that’s the thing… inauthenticity can only last but for so long. Being crammed down in a small box gets old and uncomfortable REAL quick. & being loved for who you are when you ain’t really you feels icky!
But God… He sent people my way to un-tape the box I tried to put myself in, to grab my hand & pull me out… to put a steamer to my wrinkled clothes, to fluff my ‘fro & let me know it’s time to GO!
He sent people to revive me & to put a mirror to my face to remind me of who I REALLY am and to clear away the dust of what this intense journey almost crushed me into.
God reminded me that He is not a God of ‘either or’ but of ‘both and’.
He hadn’t brought me into this journey to strip away the good, true aspects of how He created me. He used this journey to strip away all that was not true or authentic, including weights & mindsets & limits that weren’t mine to carry.
It got a little touch & go there towards the end, but God is faithful… He sent people, my people, to ‘touch’ my shoulder & my heart, and to let me know, it’s time to GO!
God showed me that there are people assigned to the true me, her in all her fullness. People who wouldn’t dare ask me to shrink, who wouldn’t let me if I tried. Those who are called to meet me where I am and journey with me to where I’m going.. Who won’t make me feel guilty for going to higher heights, but instead inspire, intercede, and encourage me to get there.
Those who could be extensions of God’s love on earth, bringing the love, support, and comfort I desire as a person & especially as a woman… knowing that I’m strong and called to greatness, but creating space for me to be human & not always superhuman!
Like I said, God is a God of ‘both and’!
It’s a blessing to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and to know that God has said ‘yes’ — yes I can be the fullness of the woman He created me to be long ago and…
yes the promise is still the promise and…
yes there are people who see me & will journey with me, the true, renewed me on the pathway ahead.
So, long story long…
Someone almost ran off with all of my stuff…
And I was just about ready to let them, but my Father is faithful & wouldn’t let them get away with me nor what is mine by divine right.
Thank You, God for bringing me back to ME & sending my tribe along the way 💕
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